Many of the memories that I hold on to the tightest are spurred by the actions of the ones I love most. These actions don’t have to be grand at all; the smallest or most mundane actions, repeated over and over, can have a profound impact and turn from specific tiny instances into one big memory and feelings that are in your heart forever. I asked fifty Asian/Asian Americans to think about this phenomenon, formed in the question:
“What is one thing that your parents did for you that you want to continue for the people you love?”
With this question, I wanted to find a tradition that people remembered from their childhood that not only defined their past and shaped their heart, but also something that they actively want to continue sharing with the hearts of others.
Here they are!
- Teaching me how to take care of myself
- Making sure everyone is fed
- Making me food
- Always checking in and asking how my day is
- Letting me be myself
- Saying I love you
- Supporting me even when I’m not at my best
- Cooking me curry or fried rice
- Giving me the freedom to be myself
- Our dinner sessions! (opportunities for more intimate conversations)
- Sharing hobbies with me even if they're not the best at it yet
- Traveling to a lot of places with me
- Being accommodating to everyone
- Vocalizing acceptance of everyone - "It doesn't matter who you bring home as long as they're not a criminal."
- Providing advice
- Being very encouraging
- Taking care of me, especially when I’m at my lowest
- Instilling in me that I can do anything
- Peeling fruit while watching TV together
- Making sacrifices
- Unconditional love
- Making me food
- Strongly supporting my passion even if it was really expensive and in art
- Never made me worry about life
- Surprised me with gifts, fun days, little pockets of joy, etc., just because they felt like it
- Giving me freedom in my adolescence
- Always being supportive and saying yes
- Cooking for me
- Storytelling
- Cooking for me
- Always telling me how pretty I am
- Throwing surprises for everyone’s birthdays and going all out
- "Roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly."
- Cooking jellyfish salad for me
- Cooking soup and rice for me
- Remembering all the little details about me
- In elementary school, I was really not a morning person, and my dad would turn on my "favorite song" - Ashley Tisdale's “Kiss the Girl” - to get me out of bed. He was so excited about it, so I felt bad and got up and pretended to dance and get hyped
- Massaging the knots from my back
- Planning very-detailed, very-complex-themed parties
- Leaving her cool clothes for me
- Going to the driving range and singing songs together
- Always being there and taking time off to make sure to go to my things
- Making people healthy, as in my parents are PTs, so I want to become a doctor and continue the tradition!
- Teaching me a lot of practical life skills and being my biggest advocates
- Being there for my rights and the wrongs and still loving me but also still telling me I messed up and can do better
- Being optimistic when I’m not like now when I’m currently jobless
- Buying a whole box of snacks when mentioning I liked it once
- Hearing about their childhood and all the stories I tell
- Peeling fruit for me
- Doing things for me when they can (even the boring or hard things)
Now, read them again, this time remembering the interviewees have the intention of continuing these actions for the people they love the most right now and for the loved ones they maybe haven’t met yet in the future.
Throughout asking everyone for responses, the question would always be first reflected to me, “Ann, what’s your response?”. My answer now is my parents' selflessness. They always were thinking of things that I didn’t think about (most recently extending my phone service for brief international travel) that show that they’re always thinking about me and how to care for me. I want to continue selflessness for the people I love.
For a while, I had no idea what my answer would be. In my head, I would first think about all the memories I could remember with my parents, many of them weren’t the greatest. It’s interesting how we can remember one bad day compared to fifty normal or mildly good ones. This question is hard to answer because you do have to look deeper into something your memory may not initially gravitate towards. So to all those who responded, thank you for your on-the-spot answers! I enjoyed learning about a piece of your heart.
While doing this survey, I realized there are questions and ideas I could further expand on so perhaps look out for a Part 2 in the future! To the readers, what is your response?
