One thing that I absolutely love about love throughout the history of civilization is the art of writing love letters. To profess your love, confess your deepest feelings and materialize it with your own hands feels so intimate and raw. In the age of mass-produced Hallmark cards and peak mass-consumerism, the romantic art of writing a love letter to someone is starting to fade away– which is awful! So to fix that, I’ve developed a fool-proof, step-by-step guide (with examples, of course) on how to write a heartfelt love letter (perfect for Valentine’s day!)
Step #1: Choose your subject – who does your heart want to speak to?
This can be anyone you want to express your love towards: a friend, a lover (this is the usual demographic for love letters), a friend that’s not really a friend (but not really a lover… yet…).
Remember that there are also different types of love & relationships (platonic, romantic, familial, etc.) so you can even write heartfelt letters to other people in your life to show your appreciation! Some examples include: a relative you miss and haven’t spoken to in a while, a dear pet, an old roommate, a professor (maybe avoid this one though, not really sure how that’ll turn out), your old neighbor– the possibilities are endless!!!
In my example, I will be writing to my amazing cat named Jasper <3
Step #2: Gather your materials
Once you’ve picked your subject for the letter, it’s time to scavenge for some awesome materials. Though it’s become more convenient to just type up a text message to your loved ones, a letter in your own writing shows more effort and intent. There are 4 main ingredients that you will need for this recipe: paper, pens and/or markers, an envelope if you’re feeling fancy, and most importantly– your heart.
Personally, I like to use sketchbook/watercolor paper from my old art books since they’re able to hold ink from my gel pens and markers very well. Don’t feel the need to go out and buy the fanciest stationery out there– an item’s monetary value shouldn’t really define your appreciation towards someone. At the end of the day it’s the thought that counts, so feel free to reuse old notebooks or even scraps of paper and just find the nearest thing to write with!
As for envelopes, you can definitely make your own as well. There are many tutorials online and you can even fold up your letter into your favorite origami or something like a “Victorian puzzle purse” which is the cutest! This can be a moment for you to get creative. Follow your bliss and choose whatever materials call out to you.
You can also take this time to grab items to decorate your letter with! Things like stickers, ribbons, or even old pictures and memorabilia that you and your loved ones share. Gather your mousekatools and set aside for later :)
Step #3: Pour your heart out !!!
Now that we have everything ready to go, it’s time to write. Make it as short and sweet or as long as you want it to be– there’s no real rubric for expressing how you feel about someone. Just remember to be thoughtful, focus on your subject, and if you’re ever stuck on what to say just ask yourself: what does my relationship with this person look, feel, and sound like? How has this person affected my life and what aspects of our time together have contributed most to our relationship? How does your heart feel when you think of your subject and what does that look like on paper?
It can also be helpful to make a list of what you want to include in your letter. Some examples of key topics to write about are: favorite memories or experiences with your subject, what you appreciate about them (for this one it’s important that a lot of it includes their qualities as an individual and not just stuff they’ve done for you), and what you are looking forward to or are hoping to have in your future together.
Your heart is the key to all of this– just listen to it and translate what it’s saying onto paper. I know it can feel overwhelming to face your feelings and be vulnerable. In this day and age, there’s an epidemic regarding chronic dating app use, being involved in toxic situationships, and advice spread online such as the “three/six/nine month rule”. No one really wants to look like some hopeless romantic who’s putting in too much effort. But I say forget all that and go for it! Love freely, love openly. Show your appreciation for someone whenever you can.
And the worst case scenario (when confessing your love towards someone) is that they don’t feel the same– and that’s okay! It’s not the end of the world. It’s much better knowing that you tried and got some sort of closure than not even making any effort at all and continuing to live your life not knowing what’s possible!
Step #4: Decorate ‘til your heart’s content :)
When you feel like you’re ready to close out your letter, gather the items you set aside earlier during Step #2 and think about how you want it to look like. There’s also no set of rules to this: remember to follow your heart’s desire!!! You can choose to go all out and dump all physical manifestations of your love onto paper or you can just keep it nice, simple– straight to the point.
Personally, I like to add stickers from my never-ending collection, add some watercolor or drawings around the border of the letter itself, and print out polaroids/pictures of us that I cherish.
This is definitely going to be more difficult if you choose the origami or the Victorian puzzle purse route but I’ve seen plenty of amazing examples out there where people painted beautiful patterns– so feel free to look for some inspo online!!
Step #5: Deliver the goods…
Now that your masterpiece of a heartfelt love letter is completed, it’s time to deliver it to your subject. Slap a stamp on it and drop it in the mail, give it to your loved one with your own hands, have a friend drop it off… do anything you can to get the message across.
And once you’re done, take deep breaths and free your mind of any worries you may have. You’ve done your part and now all you really have to do is just sit and wait. Remember to be gentle with yourself, appreciate the time and effort you’ve invested into this project. Thank yourself for being able to love freely and openly– wearing your heart on your sleeve is not easy.
To close this, here is an example of my letter appreciating my cat in full hehe:
My dearest Jasper,
The day I met you at the shelter was one of the most memorable moments of my life. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, you know– I wasn’t supposed to adopt a cat that day even though I’ve been thinking about getting one for a while. But I knew that I wanted to bring you home the moment I saw you. I met a lot of different cats that day, but you were the one that stood out. This little 8 mo. old orange tabby with missing hair on his ears…. oh how cute!! I instantly felt this deep connection between us, like you and I were just meant to be best friends, and I don’t know what my life would be like now if I never decided to spontaneously accompany my friend to her trip to the shelter.
Jasper my love, you have brought so much joy to not just my life but also to each member of my family’s (well, technically your family as well since you’re a part of it). I think that you were the glue that this family needed to fully keep us happy together. Our little baby Jasper, you may be shy and a little bit crazy sometimes but your personality is one of your best qualities. Your meows are heavenly, even when you’re screaming at me to prep your food. I love when you keep me company, especially when we cuddle on my heated blanket. I think it’s so silly when I see you in my mom’s room and you’re both just watching a k-drama together.
You’ve grown into such an amazing handsome cat and I am proud to call you my baby. I don’t care what anyone else says– I literally gave birth to you. Thank you for being a part of our lives. I love that anywhere you go, any room you walk into, you hear someone go “Jasper!” and you can just tell they’re smiling from ear to ear. It’s a nice reminder of how much your presence radiates so much happiness.
I promise to continue to care for you no matter what, and I hope that we have the privilege of spending many many many years together– in this universe and all the others. You can’t even read this letter with your own eyes and I doubt you fully understand what I’m saying most of the time but I hope that you can feel how much I (and many others) love you.
With all my love,
Mama
